4 am

4 am...
I'm hungry, but not tired,
I'm bored and not inspired,
I'm lonely, but need to be alone.

I could read
or play a game
listening to music is drying out again
but it is just a name to a distraction
sleeping is the ultimate hide
from the thoughts that will not die

I need a job, I need an S.O.
I need to be living on my own.
This life is not what I thought it'd be
Who the hell is this inside of me?
I look in the mirror and wonder when my life got away from me.

I look like a kid, and I know I'm a bore.
Not pretty enough to have ever been a whore.
I just don't follow what eveyone is into.
I do not keep score.

These walls I've built to protect myself get in the way,
but when I open the door, I get kicked in the face.

How do they do it? The ones who are loved, who have friends everywhere?
I try to be nice, be open, be sincere.

What am I missing here?